I looked at my scar today!!

I looked at my scar today. “That” scar. The one that was born on Sept. 17, 2018 – 133 days ago.

I know some of you are laughing. Not at me, but laughing nevertheless.

Doing so has been difficult for me. I took showers and baths with a t-shirt on, so as to not inadvertently glimpse the bastard.

It has been a sign of “brokenness” for me. A physicality that always reminded me of the disease that has befallen me.

As I hit the road today, on “my new normal” journey, I felt it was time.

I needed to leave this “brokenness” behind, not wanting to bring it along.

So, I looked.

There is a 3-inch dark vertical line running from beneath my belly button towards the groin. It feels smooth. Without looking, I would not know it's there. Good job – stitcher-uppers!

It looks like nothing inside of me can fall out, so that's a good thing!

It makes me feel a little “weak in the knees” to see it. I have this thing about being in shape, and this scar represents taking me down a peg, a huge peg, in that department. I am working at getting it back.

The scar is always with with me, but its meaning has changed, now a reminder of how far I have come, not how bad it had been.